Fail Tale Fail

I've just received my first Fail Tale, and it doesn't look very encouraging. Name withheld to protect the not-so-innocent.

hey i just saw ur blog so heres my stry!!
yesterday me and my friends wiere skateboarding and i went off this ramp and faceplanted and chipped a tootch and fucked up my board! my friend was tapping it so im gonna put it on youtube, so went i get the vid up can u post the link on ur blog? thnx good luck with ur site peace

Maybe I didn't make myself clear.
First of all, when I said that a Fail Tale is anything "from tying your shoe etc.," I didn't mean, "I tried tying my shoe today and broke the shoelace LOLZ." I mean, "I tried tying my shoe, but then an elephant fell on me." Or slightly more realistically, "I tried tying my shoe, but then I realized I was high as fuck and didn't have shoes on, and I was just squishing my toes together for 20 minutes." That's entertainment.

Let me help you turn your "story" (and I use the term loosely) into a legit Fail Tale. Consider the following:

I tried to write a Fail Tale, but then I realized I couldn't spell, so I gave up.

I'd give that a D. It's certainly a fail, and it's very honest, but it's still boring. Let's spice it up.

I tried to write a Fail Tale, but I realized I still had a giant foam finger duct taped to each hand. I decided to try anyways, but I failed.

Good. B quality. I'm starting to get a very clear picture of you: a skater kid who goes to football games and pukes after one beer, then goes home and looks for blogs to contribute to in the hopes of human interaction. I am interested. One more try.

I tried to write a Fail Tale, but I was distracted by a fat lady beating a midget with a cantalope. While I was looking the other way, my 8 year old "special" brother finished my story and sent it to you. Forgive me for my insolence, oh wise Fail Tale Master.

A+. You are forgiven, Sideshow.
(By the way, to those who say that that story is more crazy than fail, keep in mind that one would have to willingly hang out with crazy fat ladies, unless it is in fact our friend's mother. Which, in either case, is a fail.)

P.S. No, I will not post your YouTube link. For the love of all that is sacred, do not post it at all. A search of "skateboard fall" brings up 13,900 hits. I can't imagine anyone wanting to watch 13,900 people try to ollie and scrape their leg. I can't imagine anyone wanting to watch 2 people doing that. Do the world a favour, and keep that video of your in the safety of your computer, maybe in that secret folder with the rest of the videos that give you a broner.

What is a Fail Tale?

We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the most unsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rose from his seat, drew gun and took the stewardess hostage.
'Take me to Detroit,' he demanded.
'We're already going to Detroit,'she replied.
'Oh ... good,' he said, and sat down again. Source

A Fail Tale is a story of an attempt at anything, from tying your shoe to smashing coconuts, and failing miserably. Fail Tales happen every day, and we here at Fail Tales want to share them with the world. If you have experienced or seen a Fail Tale, write them down and send them in to failtales@gmail.com.